In saying ‘Yes,’ what are you saying ‘No’ to?

Time.  Precious commodity.  Never enough of it.  If only there were more hours in the day.  Well, there aren’t, so we better  learn to use the time we have to greatest effect. To ensure we live a life that isn’t constantly stressful, we prioritize.  Most executives and employees are fairly used to this.  However, we are also becoming a workforce who are under slept, overworked, stressed and frankly, in far too many instances, not living the quality of life we deserve.

I am going to share one simple exercise with you that I have seen have a profound effect on some of my clients.   If you find it hard to say no to anyone, be it colleagues, your boss, or your friends and family, you will soon find yourself fraught with far too much to fit into your day.

The exercise is simply to ask yourself this:

‘If I say ‘yes’ to this, what am I saying ‘no’ to? You can also turn it around.   For some reason, women seem to suffer more from this syndrome of feeling they have to say ‘yes’ to everything.

For example:  I worked with a female client who began saying ‘yes’ to writing an extra report that was not her responsibility.  She was asked to do it, and could never find the words to say ‘no.’  This report would take her about four hours and she said she always missed her weekly yoga class when the report was due.   Yoga helped her stress levels and helped her to relax, so it was important to her.   What are you saying ‘yes’ to that means you are saying ‘no’ to something else?

It may take a little more prioritizing and negotiation, but the quality of your life can improve dramatically by asking yourself this one simple question.

So next time you find yourself saying yes (or indeed, no) to something, ask yourself either what you are giving up (or gaining as the case may be.)

I wish you happy questioning.    The list is  below.

Saying Yes—Saying No

By saying YES to………… I am saying NO to





By saying NO to………. I am saying YES to






P.S.  I am now doing more coaching by Skype, so if you don’t live in Ireland, but would like to discuss a coaching consult, please do get in touch.  A free initial consult  will help you decide whether you wish to proceed with coaching, and whether I am the right person to assist you.


How to Use ‘The Job Performance Wheel’ to Measure Future Success.

When I was training to become a coach, our training manual was:

‘Co-Active Coaching.  New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life.’ By Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House and Phillip Sandahl.

A lot of authors, yes, but an excellent and comprehensive book on coaching.  The reason I tell you this, is that I am going to share one of their tools with you today – The Job Performance Wheel.

In coaching we often use the model of the wheel to measure change.

This wheel is fully adaptable to your own needs.  You can change any of the labels on the outside.

It is simple to use.   In each section mark out of ten where your level of satisfaction with this particular area lies.  For example, in the section entitled Time Management, you might be a 4 out of 10, whereas in the section entitled Satisfied with my Team Participation, you might be an 8 out of 10.

10 is the outside of the circle and is most satisfied, whereas 1 is at the innermost part of the circle and is the least satisfied.  Once you have scored each section, you draw in  the circle.  It may not look like a circle at all, seeing as it may be a bit bumpy!

This is your starting point.  Then you identify the areas you need to work on, draw up a list of actions you will take , and when you will complete the actions.  Then you make a note to re-do the circle in a month of two, whenever you have had sufficient time to action the areas required.

Now, word to the wise, don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this.  It is a very powerful technique.  Some of my clients have been astonished when they have re-done the circle at the end, both by the changes they have managed to implement, and sometimes more importantly where there is still attention and action required.

The circle can change from day to day and week to week, but I would suggest measuring it on a monthly basis .

Best of luck and let me know how you go with the results.


P.S.  You can use the circle for any aspect of your life whatsoever.  Just put in the relevant words that speak to you for each section.  Areas where you wish to make improvements.  I had a client do one for weight loss and it was incredibly successful!!  One of her sections was simply called ‘Chocolate biscuits!’  She cut down from having two chocolate biscuits every day to having two  a week.  That action alone resulted in a weight loss of 5 kilos in one month!

For leaders and executives there is also a Management Competencies wheel and an L&D wheel.  For a free half hour consultation please get in touch via the online form.  Thank you.